


Fancypants

by conceptstage



Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [83]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: violence against clowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 01:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20300956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Beau told Jester that she once had a clown at her birthday party. It also happened to be her very last birthday party, for reasons that will become apparent.





	Fancypants

“Hello there, Birthday Girl,” said the clown, getting closer to Beau than she was comfortable. “What’s your name?”

“Your voice is stupid, talk normal,” She said, crossing her little arms and shuffling farther down the bench. The clown followed her and she sneered.

“That’s not a very nice thing to say, you know. Do you want a balloon animal?”

“Is there an animal that eats clowns?”

“Nobody eats clowns, silly. We taste too funny!” He honked a horn in her face and she snatched it away, tossing it over her shoulder. “Hey, that’s-”

“Then don’t put it in my space.”

“Beauregard,” her mother said, a warning in her voice. “Be ladylike.” Then she turned back to talk to her friends.

Beau sighed and looked around at the party. There were more children her age here than she had ever seen in her life and none of them liked her. They were rolling around in the dirt and throwing around toys and the girls were playing with dolls under the trees and here she was. Alone with a fucking clown. She may have been five, but she knew this was fucked up.

The clown sighed, nearly breaking character and Beau felt a little proud. “My name is Rainbow Fancypants! What’s your name, Birthday Girl?”

Beau glared at him and leaned forward. “Look. You and I both know that you’re not getting a smile out of me. Move on. There are lots of other kids here.”

“But all kids should be happy on their birthdays. Just give me a smile and I’ll go away.”

That felt like an order. Beau didn’t smile.

“What about for a sucker?”

Bribery? Weak. Beau didn’t smile.

“I’ll only leave if you smile for me.” 

Extortion. Better, but it still pissed her off. Beau didn’t smile.

The clown reached out and put a finger on each of her cheeks, pushing her lips up into a smile. “There we go! That's a smile!”

Force. Bad move.

“Don’t touch me!” Beau exclaimed, launching herself off the bench and at the clown’s face. She flailed and kicked and grabbed whatever she could find to hold on while the clown screamed and tried to shake her off.

Someone grabbed her by the back of her dress and pulled her off, holding her up off the ground. The clown sputtered and tried to fix his wig and his outfit. “That little shit is crazy!” He said, dropping the funny voice. He turned on his heel and started marching towards her mother, who was watching the scene with mortification in her eyes. “I’m taking my pay and leaving! I’m not hanging around with that asshole kid for another four hours!”

Beau snarled and clawed at the air. “Yeah, you better run, you little bit-!”

“Beauregard,” growled a voice from the body that was holding her.

She froze and turned around slowly to look at her father’s enraged face. “He… He got in my face,” she whispered, though she knew that her father didn’t care about the explanation.

She never had a party again.


End file.
